Wetin Be Di Stages Of Grief Afta Pesin Pikin Die? This Mama Lose Her 3 Pikin Inside New Year Crash For Canada
One Nigerian mama Uche Osagie wey dey Canada lose her 3 pikin for inside car accident for New Year Day. Di woman don come tok about di mata as e pain am. Dis kain tori go make you wonda wetin be di stages of grief after pesin pikin die.
She narrate di tori tok say her three children die for inside highway collision wey happen for northern Ontario highway. Uche tok say dem dey road dey go file appeal make di family dey stay for Canada permanent.
The mama comot for Nigeria 8 years ago with di first two children. She dey go Toronto go see lawyer wey go helep am file appeal for make her family become citizen for Canada.
Di bereaved mama tok say;
“I think say I dey do my best for dem to cari dem come Canada to give dem better life, but I nor know again.
“Di celebration wey dem want, dem nor dey here to celebrate. So, to me, I think I be loser. I don lose evritin. All my fight, everything, na in vain and I dey ask myself, once again, and I still dey ask God, ‘Why you keep me?’ You for cari me go, make my children get beta future. I been live my life for those children” Dis kain tok na part of di stages of grief after losing a child.
Dem say flags dey fly for half-mast for Chelmsford Public School inside Greater Sudbury community of Chelmsford. Na there all di three children; Destiny, Flourish, and Britney been dey go school.
Very sad tori.
Wetin Come Be Di Stages Of Grief Afta Pesin Pikin Die?
Make person pikin die na big loss wey nor normal becos as we know am, na pikin suppose to bury im mama and papa death. Di love wey we get for our children dey pure and e nor get condition. Di one wey dey pain pass na say that pikin nor go grow up to fulfil im dreams and purpose. Nobody wey e nor go pain.
After person pikin die, the grieving waka na long one. And e nor get rules wey di parents go must folow. Evribodi dey grieve wit different style. Dem say na 5 main stages of grief dey but we don make am 8. And all of dem dey important for how di parents go feel as per time. All di stages dey natural, and e better make person accept dem instead of to ignore dem.
Stages Of Grief Afta Pesin Pikin Die: Guilty conscience
As parents na we dey responsible for our pikin dem. So no mata as your pikin die you go feel say you let am down. You fit dey ask yourself all di things wey you for fit help dem do, or you go dey wonder wetin you do and wetin you nor do. You go get many feeling wey go make you get guilty conscience.
E dey normal for you to feel say you need to blame anoda pesin for your pikin wey die. But dey careful make you nor go accuse your spouse abi your family memba make di tin no go scatta your family relationship or even your marriage.
Stages Of Grief Afta Pesin Pikin Die: Bargaining
E fit dey normal for you to tink say you fit do deal with baba God say make e remove di pain for your heart. You go dey find answer, dey take difren risk as you dey find di answer dey go. Wetin you want na make the pain disappear or make your pikin come back. Na still one of di stages of grief after losing a child.
When your pikin die, di pain no go be small tin. You fit see say you dey cry plenty cry. Na normal tin. You fit lose hope for God or for life. You go dey wonder weda you go ever trust anybodi for dis life again; becos na di God wey colect your pikin. All dis one na still part of di stages of grief after losing a child. And you go recover, afta all di stage don pass go.
Dis one dey veri common for we side. All your friends dem go dey avoid you. No be say dem be bad pesin. D mata dey make pesin dey very uncomfortable. E dey make dem feel like say di tin fit happen to dem. Dem not go know wetin to tok and you need pesin wey go listen to you.
Dis one no good but e go happen. You go vex well well. You go vex say your pikin don die. Den u go vex for people wey tink say dem sabi as you dey tink for dis kain time. Anger na one emotion wey get power. E go make you wan take action. But anger na normal stage of grief, but e fit dey dangerous if e continue. If dat one happen, see dokita sharp sharp.
Di love wey parent get for im pikin no be small. If di pikin die, di mama and papa go feel am for life. They go dey think, no go fit put mind for work and life. Dem fit dey forget sometin sef and e go dey hard to folow pesin relate. Sleep nko? Dem no go fit sleep sef.
Dis sadness na symptom of grief and e no good make e last forever, make e no turn to depression. Depression na bad tin wey go affect your evriday life.
As time dey go you go eventually accept di tin wey hapun say your pikin die. E fit no be laidat now o, but dat time go come. E fit be months or even years before e hapun but e go hapun. E no mean say you go forget di pikin but you go just finally accept say di pikin no go com bak, and di tin wey hapun don hapun. By dis time, you don go through all di stages of grief afta pesin pikin die.
- You need to forgive ya sef. No mata wetin happen, you go need to dey stop to dey blame ya sef becos say you know say you love dat child die. So no how wey be say you for wan make bad tin happen to am.
- No run from happiness. If you see say you dey smile, no tink sa na wrong tin. E dey ok. Allow ya sef to be happy if di happiness come ya way.
- Dey take small small steps. Just dey live life small small, one day at a time. No put too much pressure for ya head. No tink too much.
- Dey try to follow people tok. You fit find oda parents wey dem pikin don die follow tok. You go feel beta becos you go no say dem go sabi as you dey feel, and dem go sabi wetin to tok.