Brad Pitt’s powerful marriage advice is heartfelt and true
Absence not only makes the heart grow fonder, but perhaps makes you wiser, too.
It may seem odd heeding marriage and relationship tips from Hollywood celebrities. After all, the media constantly bombards us with news of their scandals, infidelity, and unimportant relationship issues. A good example being Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce. Or, maybe not. The couple’s split after being in the limelight for years has given Pitt some revelations on marriage – something he wishes he knew earlier. Brad Pitt advice for marriage? Let’s hear it, then!
Brad Pitt advice for marriage: Top 10 golden nuggets of wisdom
1) Keep an open mind, as a failing relationship isn’t set in stone
Even though Pitt and Jolie have, and are still separated there are still rumours saying they might patch things up. During their divorce, both wanted to try getting back together again. Ian Halperin, the couple’s biographer, says that:
“In that moment they decided to make a fresh start. It was a ‘come to Jesus meeting’ that marked the beginning of a new phase in their relationship.”
It doesn’t matter how you do it – be it spiritual counselling, or other forms of therapy – give your relationship a chance, and don’t give up so soon.
2) Love your spouse wholeheartedly, without any hesitation
During one interview with GQ Style, Pitt said he better understood the common phrase “if you love someone, set them free”. He explains that his feelings showed that “it means to love without ownership. It means expecting nothing in return.”
It’s a lot more effortless to love your partner unquestioningly when you’re away from the public eye. There’s no added pressure and judgement from the media breathing down your neck. So, parents, the takeaway is to stay true to yourselves and love your partner as best as you can.
3) Expect some relationship difficulties on the way
Couples promise one another to stick “for better and worse” in their marriage vows for good reason. Being able to endure trialling moments as a couple will make both people stronger than they were at the start. Halperin even admits that “both of them realize they are happier together than apart.”
4) Support your spouse untiringly, and respect their choices
Angelina Jolie’s family had always carried the gene responsible for ovarian and breast cancer. Five years ago in 2013, Jolie courageously decided to undergo a preventative double mastectomy and reduce her chances of getting breast cancer.
The decision didn’t just come about from Jolie’s courage to see it through. Pitt, too, had to put his trust in the operation. In a rare joint interview with NBC three years ago, Pitt says he supported his then-wife’s decision for the family’s sake:
“Support. Whatever’s got to be done to keep the family together and keep the family together as long as possible is gonna be done. This was her charge, no question. It’s a scary decision. There’s many things that can go wrong and go many different directions.”
5) Don’t ever ignore important issues
When Jolie told Pitt about her mastectomy by phone, he stopped doing everything and poured all of his attention to his then-wife, instead. In the same NBC interview as above, he recalls that:
“I was out in France, and Angie called me and I got straight on a plane to return. Seeing my wife have to be her strongest and knowing that it’s the scariest news is terribly moving. And not being there is a horrible feeling.”
Not being there for Jolie might have made all the difference for an enjoying a long life together or missing the final opportunity to bid her farewell.
6) Treasure what you have and your family daily, no matter how big or small
Being grateful for everything that you have – from this morning’s breakfast or the wonderful family you’ve both made – is an essential part of the family. It’s not easy to get out of the hustle and bustle of life, which makes us miss valuable opportunities for family bonding.
In Pitt’s interview with the magazine Parade, he says:
“I’m satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much. A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss. That’s the trade-off. But I’ll take it all… One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom. She is such a great mom. Oh, man, I’m so happy to have her.”
7) Recognise your strengths — but also know when to step back and let others lead
Mums and dads, you don’t need to be leading the family round the clock. You might have strengths in certain areas – and need to improve on other aspects, too. Why not let your spouse’s complementary strengths cover your weaknesses?
It might intimidate people who have always been a leader to step back. But a true leader would have some humility in his weaknesses, opting to follow and serve others instead of taking charge.
After both had finished filming their 2013 movie By The Sea, Pitt revealed to V magazine in one of their issues that:
“I trust her with my life. She’s decisive, incredibly intuitive, knife-sharp, and, might I say, sexy at her post.”
8) Compliment your spouse where it’s due
It’s tough being a good spouse. But as with those with children would know, being a parent is a lot harder. So, parents, don’t forget to praise one another on how well you handle your family, from looking after your kids or earning money for them.
In an interview with the magazine Parade, Pitt explains how he adores his ex-wife’s parenting skills:
“Angelina is just amazing. I’ll be tired and lie down on the sofa and then she’ll keep going until late at night. And that makes me feel like, ‘Why am I taking it easy?’ so I’ll go help out and play with the boys and get them to bed.”
In the same interview, he says that being a parent also needs that extra self-discipline:
“You realize that you always have the energy inside you, and as a parent you need to have a lot of willpower.”
9) Look back every day and find ways to love your partner and family better
After Pitt and Jolie divorced, he thoroughly reflected on what happened and himself.
In one interview with GQ after the couple’s divorce, Pitt looked back on his emotions and how he grew up thinking that dads knew best. Nowadays we clearly know men who put up a strong front are also emotionally wounded.
In his talk, Pitt made a surprising realisation in regards to fatherhood and his kids:
“I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven’t been great at it.”
10) Don’t stop improving yourself, no matter how tough a marriage gets
Marriage and relationships are tough — but it’s okay. There will be challenges along the way which can make either spouse overthink and become anxious. But that’s a sign that you care. And spouses care for one another as they’re a part of something beautiful – marriage.
So, go through those trailing times together. Develop yourself further and support your spouse’s personal growth. Eventually, your relationship will grow much stronger than before.
Parents, we hope that this article about Brad Pitt advice for marriage shows that even helped to put the differences between you and your spouse. Have any thoughts? Share them in the comments below!
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This article was published with the permission of theAsianparent Singapore