Challenges That Childless Couples Face And How To Respond To Them
Not every married couple aspires to pregnancies, babies, toddlers and teenagers. Some people actually fall in love, marry and decide not to have children. And they go on to have lasting marriages, full of happiness. Sometimes, it's not that there are health challenges or infertility issues. Sometimes it is simply a matter of choice. However, because this situation is not the norm, it is easily misunderstood, putting the childless couple in an uncomfortable position. Nobody should feel uncomfortable for their choices or challenges. Here are some things to know about childless couple problems.
Some Things About Child-free Marriages
They Don't Hate Children
Contrary to what you may think, they don't necessarily hate children. In fact, some childless couples actually like children and it evident in the way they dote on their nieces and nephews and friend's children. They probably just shy away from the lifetime responsibility that parenting comes with.
They probably find the question about childlessness uncomfortable
We really need to stop questioning other people's choices as to what they do with their own bodies and their own lives. The question about why a couple is childless is invasive and quite rude, no matter how politely you ask it.
They think about having children
They talk about it as well. What they don't do is go on to have the children.
They are hurt when you refer to them as less than a family
They are a family, a happy one at that. They only don't have children. According to Anne Jones, "I was having a perfectly fun time at a friend’s wedding when a woman said, “Don’t you want a family?” This really hurt my feelings, but I was too dumbstruck to reply. I have a family with my mother and brothers and grandmother and aunts and cousins. My friends are like family, but most importantly, the life I’ve built with my husband and the happy marriage feels like a family to us.
Your questions are insensitive
Some couples are dealing with the hard brunt of infertility and your constant questioning can be jarring. You know how it feels to peel off the scab of an old wound? Ehen. Something like that. When in doubt, wait for personal information to be offered to you instead of prying. If it doesn't come, please drink water and mind your ovaries.
The competition is unnecessary
The parent versus non-parent dialogue that’s created by society, is not necessary. In Western countries, many childless couples are foster parents. This tells you that even though childless couples are obviously different from parents, everyone is contributing their share to building society. That is what is important. It means there’s plenty you can offer each other — from career advice to grief support to lifelong friendships — that celebrates your differences and lifts each other up.
Infertility is a painful, lonely journey
The best we can all do is be kind, be sensitive and show a lot of empathy.