Sex Toys Expert Shares Why Couples Toys Are Good For Improved Intimacy In Nigerian Marriages
Can sex toys really bring the sexy back into a marriage?
We don’t often consider sex toys as a thing for couples in Nigeria, due to our conservative society. We rarely meet people who got any sex education beyond the threats of “if a man touches you, you will get pregnant” from their parents. This attitude has been a key factor in the way we relate to sex and relationships.
So, when Toke Makinwa preached on her Vlog that women should own vibrators as a step to learning their bodies, I expected to see a backlash in her comments section. However, in over 150 comments, there were less than 5 persons who disagreed with her. Then, I created a poll asking people if they had anything against sex toys, and two comments stood out for me, one person saw no need for couples toys, while another called it “nothing but a good rival.”
But, what if we considered these pleasure toys as a tool that improves and enriches the sexual experience between couples instead of a rival?
Despite the approval on Toke Makinwa’s post, it was apparent that there is still a common misconception that sex toys are there to replace a partner.
Sex Toys For Couples In Nigeria
Perception of sex toys in Nigeria
I don’t think we are having genuine conversations about sex yet. Nigeria isn’t ready for it. Sooner or later, you’re going to get slut-shamed for being expressive about sex as a woman. People no longer curse me out for selling sex toys. It doesn’t mean they’ve accepted it, they’ve just realised it doesn’t get to me, so they leave me alone.
I believe that sex toys can improve intimacy between couples. This is because there’s a new level of communication that transpires between couples who use sex toys. They are more comfortable, open and vulnerable with each other. They’ve been able to create an environment where they don’t judge each other and this improves intimacy.
Best toys for couples
The most appropriate toys for couples should include those that do not make either partner feel left or small. I would recommend toys that do not replicate any human body part in its design. Toys like bullets, finger vibrators, penis rings, magic wands, etc. These toys are generally used for stimulation on external body parts and can be used on either sex. It can also be used during penetration on the nipples or clitoris which is a plus because the experience is usually something your partner will never forget.
Sex toys during the coronavirus lockdown
I sold out on all toys this period and I’m currently trying to restock. During these times, couples should make sure that they wash their toys with soap and water. And store in a clean dry place.
3 Things to consider before introducing sex toys in your bedroom
If you want to introduce sex toys in your bedroom, here are things to consider;
- Don’t catch your partner unawares
You should discuss with your partner before introducing sex toys. Make sure you find out from your partner if they are willing to explore with you. Even if they have been using it solo, using it with a partner is new terrain for them.
- Find something you are both comfortable with
When choosing a sex toy, note Olivia’s advice to find something you both enjoy and can share. This way, no one feels left out or uncomfortable.
- Talk, talk, talk
Communication is an important aspect of a relationship. Talk before using sex toys, when using and after as a way of checking in with your partner.