Bisi was my childhood friend. She was easily the life of every party we ever attended. Beautiful and curvy and vivacious to boot. That was our Bisi. I never knew how to be mad at her for longer than an hour. Not even when she went on with that boy on whom I had a huge crush. Well, girls became women, Bisi and I.
We hung out a few times a year, every time she was in the country. Bisi was an interior decorator who lived with her billionaire husband wherever she wanted in the world. Paris today, Italy next month and Dubai next year. They didn't want children, so they had none. She had the life most women only dreamed about. But it was impossible to envy her because she had no airs about her. She was a sweet girl, my sweet girl.
Don't Fall For The Lie That You Fall Short
That's why it was hard to imagine that this sombre, teary-eyed woman who sat across from me, staring unseeingly out of the window was Bisi. She told me how she had always wanted kids, but was unable to have children. Endometriosis had cost her her uterus. She talked about how her rich husband had at least one mistress in every city. Some of them had borne him children even. But she didn't dare protest, because he always reminded her she was barren. He told her without him she was a nobody because no man would ever love a childless woman. She told me how she felt worthless, because a woman without a womb might as well be a man. Bisi said she wanted to end her life but lacked the courage to do so.
There are too many women just like Bisi around us today. Women with just enough guts to end their lives because they fell for the lie of society. Being stuck in a constant whirlwind of believing that you aren’t good enough can happen to anyone. Whether it’s in the situation of a job, or club or team, or a romantic relationship, or just a friendship. In life, there will be people who either want to tear you down or see you fall. The ones who will purposely go out of their way to ruin your life, just so they feel better about theirs. Society doesn't help either, with its many tags and expectations. Many a woman has believed that they are not woman enough, because they somehow fall short of society's expectations. We're here to lift your head back up, because you are enough.
You Are A woman, And You Are Enough
Whether you have a full football team of children, or you have none, you are a woman. And whether, your uterus is intact or it was removed for health reasons, you are a woman. Also, whether you're a housewife; stay at home mum; a career woman; or you're stuck in a rut; you're a woman. Finally, whether you're single; married; divorced or stuck in an unhealthy relationship; you're a woman. And you are enough.
Dear woman, you're more than a number on a scale, you're more than your image in the mirror. Woman, you are defined by more than your relationship. Somehow, in the millions of messages you have heard every day of your whole entire life. You have missed the one you need to hear the most. The one that is true.
You have heard the message that says you are too loud and too emotional and too fat. And you have heard that you work too much and share too much and eat too much. You have heard that you don’t wear the right clothes or have the right hair color or use the right lipstick to make that guy want you. But we're here to say that you are enough just as you are.
So as you put on your clothes today, as you brush your hair and look at your face in the mirror, let your internal monologue change. Tell that voice in your head that says, “You are not enough” that you recognize it for the lie that it is. Then remind yourself that the God of the Universe delights himself in you. Remind yourself that, no matter how many calories you ate at dessert last night, you are beautiful. You are acceptable. You are enough. And most amazingly, you are a woman.
Also read: I See You: Open Letter To The Single Parent
