With most suicides, there's a feeling that maybe something might have been done to avoid the tragic incident. On November 19th, the Gauteng education department reported that it lost two children to suicide. This happened just days before the pupils were due to write their final exams. Allegedly, one of them, a grade 12 girl hung herself after losing her phone.
Grade 12 girl hangs herself after losing her phone
A 17-year-old Grade 12 girl-pupil from Phahama Secondary School in Randfontein hung herself at home. While the 19-year-old Grade 12 pupil from Hoërskool Bekker shot himself with his father’s firearm. Both children were in matric. Education MEC Panyaza Lesufi’s office said the children were from Phahama Secondary and Hoërskool Bekker, and both had killed themselves within the last week.
According to Steve Mabona, the department's spokesperson, the first incident happened on Thursday. Mabona says that she lost her new cellphone and was too scared to tell her parents, hence took her own life.
The second pupil died on Sunday. Speaking further, Mabona says that a 19-year-old grade 12 Hoërskool Bekker pupil allegedly shot himself at home with his father’s firearm. He left a note which will form part of the police investigation. Also, Education MEC Panyaza Lesufi, says he was disheartened by the incidents. It was unfortunate and regrettable that pupils took their own lives in this manner. The Gauteng Education Department will be providing support and counselling to pupils in the school.
Should your children be scared of you?
There are many moving parts when it comes to raising a child. All of them are about balance and timing. As a parent, you have to know when to be firm and when to be mellow. When to talk and when to listen. When to give space and when to be in your children's business. Sadly, much of parenting in Africa is about taking the role of instructor. This kind of role reduces parenting to just giving your children orders that must be obeyed at all costs. You give instructions that end with threats just to motivate the child, but that is not the best solution.
Consequently, your kids will become afraid of you. Of course, fear will get them to do what you want at the moment, but the quality of your relationship with them suffers. And when this happens, you end up having kids who are too afraid to tell you when they mess things up. Kids who would rather kill themselves than tell you that they've failed an exam or lost their phone. Unfortunately, the effects of this kind of parenting don't stop there. It teaches your kids that they have to dominate others to get what they want.
Again, this doesn't mean you should let your kids do what they want. But everything starts with teaching them respect through your behaviour. Generally, children copy your actions and act them out in their interactions with others. Be civil in your manners even when you're angry with them. This shows them that they can come to you even when you're angry.
Times Live
Read also: 4 Distinct Personalities In Children And How To Parent Them Successfully
