Say Sorry And Mean It: How Not To Apologise To Your Partner
You're not perfect, and neither is your partner. Nobody really is. It's also perfectly okay to make one mistake or two. Knowing this will reduce the pressure that's often mounted on people in relationships. The pressure of perfection that robs you from being yourself in the relationship, and the pressure of trying to measure up to a standard that is not realistic. However, when you are wrong, the responsible thing to do is apologise. But it doesn't end there. It's not so much the apology, but the tone and the content of it. If your apology doesn't sound sincere, then it probably isn't. Sounding sincere is a very important way to apologise. There's also how not to apologise to your loved one. See these pointers below:
Here's How Not To Say You're Sorry... Ever!
1. Do a blast from the past mid-apology
Your apology is not the perfect opportunity to remind your partner of that time in history when they did something to you that's similar to your reason for apologising. It takes the sincerity out of your apology. There will be plenty of time to point out similarities, when things are good between you both. What is important right then is taking responsibility and showing remorse.
2. Toot your horn
Your stellar record as a lover should not be a negotiation point when you're making an apology. It puts things in bad taste. Don't give in to the temptation to toot your horn while making an apology. Try to focus on the current issue instead. Your good deeds don't excuse this one bad deed, so take it in stride and make that apology count for something.
3. In an unpleasant manner
Your apology is meaningless when you say it with a negative attitude. Your words could be "I'm sorry" but your tone is nonchalant. The words I am sorry or I apologise will never be enough. Your body language gives your words the weight that's need to make a meaningful apology.
4. Refusing to take responsibility
People will blame anything ranging from alcohol to bad moods to headaches if they could get away with it. Instead of saying I'm sorry but it wasn't my fault, accept responsibility for the situation and commit to making it better. Whether something or somebody made you do it or not, the fact remains that you did it. Things happen everyday, but nobody said you should take it out on your partner.
5. Making light of the problem
Don’t even try to trivialize the problem. If your partner thinks it is a big enough deal to be upset about, you take responsibility and apologise, all the while trying to make them feel better. Try not to make it seem like it is a small thing that can be swept under the carpet. You've caused somebody pain, fix it.
Resource: Pulse NG