The story of Chandley Brelsford has gone viral on social media. Chandley is the very brave lady who called off her wedding three weeks before the big day. By so doing, she shows us all just how to end a toxic relationship. She was due to tie the knot on June 8 but realized that the man she almost married did not make her happy.
“The man I had fallen in love with was not the man I could call my husband, and it has shaken my character to its very core. The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our marriage would not be peaceful, supportive and loving and it took me four years to realize this man was not right for me.”
Read The Story of Chandley Brelsford Below
This has been difficult but I think I am finally ready. It’s long.June 8th 2019… was meant to be the happiest day of…
Posted by Chandley Brelsford on Saturday, 31 August 2019
Brelsford admitted to ignoring the warning signs during the course of their relationship. Issues such as the man controlling her and giving her ultimatums. She said when she enrolled in college, she would drive for more than two hours every weekend to see him. And even took weekend jobs next to his home as he had made it clear he did not want a long-distance relationship.
Brelsford encouraged women to be open to acting on the red flags immediately when they see them. To listen to their intuition, to choose their happiness and to never settle.
5 Steps On How To End A Toxic Relationship like Chandley Brelsford
1. Step out of denial.
Be prepared to dry off as you step out of the river of Denial. A few questions will get you there. Ask yourself these, for starters: Do I feel energized or drained after I spent an hour with X? Do I WANT to spend time with X or do I feel like I have to?
2. Keep a log of emotions.
One of the best attraction busters is to keep a record of things that make you feel bad. Consistently bad. In the relationship. Note all of these and use it to make your decision.
3. Identify the perks.
All relationships, even toxic ones, have hidden benefits. Or why would you stay in them? So, identify the perks. Determine what, specifically, you are getting from this relationship. Consider whether it is enough to keep staying.
4. Surround yourself with POSITIVE friends.
Lots of support and friends isn’t going to cut it. You need the right kind of friends–i.e. those working on their boundaries as hard as you are. Those who aren’t enmeshed in their fair share of toxic relationships and therefore become somewhat toxic themselves. It is contagious. The risk of getting sucked into toxic relationships is higher than 100 percent. So be smart with whom you choose to hang out.
5. Recite positive affirmations
Once the negative core beliefs have been exposed and challenged as false, you need to adopt positive, life-affirming beliefs. ‘I am unlovable’ becomes ‘I can love and be loved, I am a sacred child of the Universe.’ Feelings of hopelessness are counteracted by the new belief ‘I have the power to change my life.’ ‘I am defective’ slowly changes to ‘I get to make mistakes and be loved.
Psychology Today
ALso read: Mental Health: The Connection Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety
