Nollywood Actress, Bukunmi Oluwasina, Does Not Think Cheating Is A Deal Breaker
Is Cheating A Deal Breaker For You?
In a recent PunchNG article, Bukunmi Oluwasina argues that it is very difficult to find a man who is 100 per cent faithful. For this reason, she has questioned the attitude of those who leave their partners at the first sign of cheating. Still, how to handle a cheating partner isn't set in stone, because there are a lot of moving parts.
How to handle a cheating partner
The popular Nollywood actress and producer gave an insight into who her ideal man is. According to her, she likes a man that has the fear of God. Because a man who has the wisdom of God in him will know how to raise a family. She wants a man that won’t give up on her no matter what because she is complicated. Also, she would like a man who loves her for all of her and stands by her in hard times.
“I don’t know if I can get a faithful man because we all are human beings. It is very hard to get someone who is 100 per cent faithful,” she said. “Most people don’t know this, so when someone cheats on them, they leave the relationship. What gives you the impression that the next person you would date won’t cheat on you?”
How do you heal from the pain of infidelity?
It can be very painful to be cheated on, one of the reasons being the fact that trust has been betrayed. In addition to that, many people who get cheated on may start to doubt whether they're good enough for their partners. In the end, a decision will need to be made though, one you should take your time to come to.
- Decide if you want to rebuild trust
A betrayal of trust is a serious problem in a relationship. It calls the entire relationship into question, with you looking at your partner and wondering whether they could be trusted again, and why they hurt you in the first place. Good people are not exempted from making mistakes, but it is up to you to decide. Here are a few things to consider:
- Is your partner truly sorry?
- Did you have to find out or did they confess?
- Has this happened before?
- Is this part of a larger picture of poor behaviour towards you?
- Do you feel you want to trust them again?
- Try to understand the nature of the cheating
When most people hear “cheating” the first thing that comes to mind is sex, but that isn't always the case. People cheat in different ways, so try to understand the nature of your partner's cheating. However, this isn't an excuse for such behaviour.
- Ask your partner to cut out the other party
While you're both working it out, ask your partner to cut out the other party, because it will be difficult to mend things when the other person is in the picture. Trust and boundaries were violated and they need to be rebuilt. However, this may not be easy if the other party is someone your cheating partner works with or has to deal with one way or the other.
Communicate with your partner when you're ready
It hurts to get cheated on, so you will need to take your time to talk to your partner. Do not let anyone make you feel like you're overreacting. You have every right to hurt, to cry, to be angry until you feel ready to talk about it.
- Set boundaries
Resetting the boundaries is very important when working your way back together. Whatever problems you're having in your relationship is a topic that is off the table when speaking with your coworkers. Also, demand that there should be no one on one meetings with the third party.
Remember that how you choose to handle a cheating partner is your choice. Well-meaning family members or friends may advise you to leave immediately, but one thing you need to do is take your time. If you do decide to leave, you can be sure you're leaving because you decided to and not because you were under pressure to do so.