6 Ways To Re-ignite Your Passion For Your Partner
Sexual attraction ebbs and flows in every relationship. Anyone who has been in a long term committed relationship would know this. Whether it’s because of your stress levels, busy schedules, or your partner’s parents are in town for the week and it has one or both of you in a bad mood, there are bound to be some roadblocks to your overall arousal levels. But what if, lifestyle factors aside, it feels like you’ve been less attracted to your partner lately? We'll share some tips below, about how to remain attracted in a marriage.
The truth is, you should already be taking care of yourself for yourself! Working out, eating right, getting enough sleep: These are all things that make you happier and healthier. And when you're happier and healthier, your relationship will be, too. And so will the sex! While you're at it, look in the mirror. It is easy to project our insecurities and bad moods on what’s most readily available (your partner). But make sure that you look in the mirror and ask yourself if YOU feel attractive and emotionally fulfilled.
Minds out of the gutter! This is about gestures. Tiny joyous ones like bringing candies or flowers, writing love notes, opening doors. Or even boosting the music during a favorite song. There is nothing more effective in keeping a relationship warm, supportive, and fun than making a habit of doing small, positive things. In order to remain sexually attracted to your partner, you both must stay attuned to each other's efforts to shower one another with affection.
We live in a hyper connected world where everyone you love is just a text away. But excessive intimacy causes anxiety. And now, with a higher percentage of the world’s population living in mega-cities of millions of people, people are starting to feel the pinch. If you are constantly around your partner, you won’t have the opportunity to miss them. They will start to feel like a burden more than a treat. When you’re with your partner, give them your full attention. But when you’re away from them, get on with your life.
It's no big secret that kids and careers often end up dulling lives, creating vast stretches of days when couples "forget to have fun." That's why we emphasize the importance of surprising your partner from time to time: Giving your spouse a pleasant surprise also conveys something special, your knowledge of him or her.
People’s brains have a funny way of needing to appear consistent with their words, actions, and thoughts. So if you have been taking your partner for granted and not putting any effort into your relationship, your brain will rationalize “If I’m not putting any effort into this relationship… it must mean that I’m not that into my partner.” But the reverse is also true. If you’ve found your desire waning recently in your relationship, simply by putting in more effort your mind will think “I’ve been putting so much effort into this relationship lately, I must really love my partner a lot!”
Compliments are like verbal surprises. We never expect them and we react pretty awkwardly to them, but please keep them coming! After all, the failure to give and receive positive feedback and compliments was one of the most common regrets of the elders. If you make a habit of complimenting their spouses, the payoff is a warm atmosphere of mutual appreciation.
Sexual energy is a finite resource for everyone. If you find yourself squandering your sexual energy by looking at porn, lengthily admiring other attractive women in public, or masturbating several times a day and leaving whatever is left over for your partner, then you both lose. Picture sexual energy like running water through your body and you can funnel it in any direction you want. And the more you funnel it in a certain direction, the steadier it gets in that same direction (just like how river beds deepen over time the more water runs through them).
Consciously channel your sexual energy towards your partner and, coming back to the point I made in section #3, your mind will act consistent with your thoughts and actions.
It's not a secret that depression and other issues can put a damper on your libido. Don't be shy about communicating with your partner when either or both of you need help. Travel more! Different circumstances change your way of thinking. And, if we may add, the scenery.
Decide on it. Love, like happiness, is largely a choice. It’s a mental filtering process. Choose to see your partner in the same light that you saw them in when you first started dating… and filter out the things that would irk you if you chose to ruminate on them. Look at your partner through rose-coloured glasses, not through a magnifying glass.
Source: Jordan Gray Consulting
Also read: Sexual intercourse during early pregnancy