Anal sex for married couples: A guide
Anal sex is practised more commonly than you think. However, is anal sex harmful? Not if done properly. So if you want to try it, read this article.
Sex is different for every couple. Some couples are perfectly satisfied with conventional, vaginal sex. Others may engage in roleplaying or break out the handcuffs for some light S&M. (While still others are just happy to get any sex at all.) Not surprisingly, a few couples resort to more adventurous forms of gratification, including anal sex. To many women, the first question on their minds is: Is anal sex harmful? Let’s find out.
Is Anal Sex a Perversion?
To many, anal sex sounds unappealing, or even gross. After all, the anus is not the cleanest of body parts! (Neither is the mouth, but oral sex is far more accepted.)
It may surprise you to know that anal sex is not that uncommon. It is not even “unnatural”, with many other animal species engaging in anal sex. So to answer the question, no. Anal sex is not a perversion.
That said, the act is unlawful in some countries though. So if it is illegal in your country, be careful where you discuss it!
Is Anal Sex Pleasurable?
In technical terms, anal sex includes penetration of the anus by a penis, any objects like fingers or toys, and even oral stimulation of the anus and the perianal area.
The short answer is, it can be pleasurable.
The long answer is the pleasure comes from our anatomy – or how humans are made. Specifically, we derive pleasure from the nerves that supply the perianal area. The pudendal nerve is responsible for carrying the sensations from the glans in the males and clitoris in the females, enabling orgasms. The same nerve also carries sensations from the area around the anus. So, stimulation of that region can be erogenous.
Anal penetration, on the other hand, can be quite painful if the person is not properly relaxed. It can even cause damage to the delicate sphincters (in this case the muscle that closes and opens the anus) if not done properly. So, if you are planning to try it out the first time, keep that in mind.
Is Anal Sex Harmful?
Anal sex can be quite pleasurable. However, the biggest downside of unprotected anal sex is that it can spread STDs. In a study, incontinence was seen in men and women who were the recipients of anal sex. One of the reasons could be damage to the sphincters. Introduction of large, rigid objects can cause significant damage, so please play it safe!
Now to the Good Bits
By now, we’ve established that anal sex can be quite safe as long as you are gentle and patient!
If you want to experiment, or try something new to add spice to the marriage, we’ve got you covered.
Before your husband boldly goes where no man has gone before, both of you should be mentally ready for it.
So, have a frank conversation, and don’t force/be forced into it. It will cause pain. As for the sanitation issue, enemas are common practice, though not essential. Also, remember that this time around, the woman can do the penetration too. So whatever you decide to do, have an honest talk first.
In order to make anal sex pleasurable, the key is that both of you are relaxed. You can ensure this by plenty of foreplay!
Oral stimulation of the anus is not uncommon, so think first if you are up for that. You can go straight to anal sex or can have a bit of routine sex before you proceed to the exciting parts! Do remember though, there are a few things to keep in mind when you decide to have anal intercourse.
Anal Sex Essentials
The first and foremost thing is, it will be immensely pleasurable if the recipient is relaxed. So ensure that you have your partner sufficiently excited! Here are three things to keep in mind when trying out anal sex.
- Use lube. During foreplay, you can use a glove and some lubricant to relax her anal sphincter. Use one finger to enter her first. You can do it with minimum pain if she is lying on her side and your palm is facing up. Sense her reaction and proceed. If she is enjoying it, you can try another finger. If it is too painful, withdraw as it could lead to damage.
- Hygiene matters. If you’re switching up anal and vaginal sex, remember not to insert anything (i.e. penis, sex toy, fingers) that has been in the anus first, to the vagina, without washing it first. This is in order to prevent infection.
- Try toys. You can also use sex toys made for the anus, like butt plugs, anal beads, or small anal vibrators. Ensure that you use sufficient lubrication before inserting anything. A word of caution though: Beware of getting something stuck in there. It would be terribly embarrassing having to explain it to the Emergency Room nurse!
- Be gentle. Once you think she is ready, you can proceed with the penetration. Again, take your time and do not rush. It might take some time for her to accommodate you, so mums, be as relaxed as you can be! Find your rhythm, but ensure that neither of you are in pain or any discomfort.
Anal sex is one way of bringing spice back to the marriage. Is anal sex harmful? If done right, no, it’s not. With lube, caution, and a generous helping of the love that is in your partnership, both of you can enjoy this experience.