Here is how you can find out if your child is gay.

Here is how you can find out if your child is gay.

A childs sexual orientation is something that could take parents by surprise. This is how you can find out if your child is gay.

African society has a stereotype of how boys and girls should behave. Also, there are things they are expected to adapt to, hobbies they should enjoy. There seems to be a strict set of gender roles and each sex is expected to follow them. Therefore, when a child does not follow these prescribed rules, parents start to wonder if their child is gay.

How Do I Determine If My Child Is Gay?

As a parent, if your child's behaviour confuses you, then there are a few things you should know before you decide they are gay.

  • Gender roles are different from sex roles

Gener roles vs sex roles

Gender roles are behaviours determined by society, while sex roles are the things boys and girls are biologically equipped to do. For instance, men are considered as breadwinners in the family (gender role.) However, women are biologically equipped to give birth (sex role).  In society, some boys display feminine characteristics and girls who display masculine characteristics, popularly referred to as tomboys. If your son likes to play with girls or participates joyfully in gender roles prescribed for girls, it does not make him gay. The world is changing and recognizing that gender stereotypes are harmful. The traditional gender roles are created by society and vary from culture to culture. Therefore, your daughter choosing to be a boxer, partaking in roles expected of men is not exactly enough to decide that she is gay.

  • It does not run in the family

It does not run in the family

According to a study by Science Magazine, there are no genes in humans responsible for making a person gay or determining people’s sexual behaviour or orientation. This means that no precedent can make your child gay. The study also reflects that a person cannot be "turned gay", so if there is a history of homosexuality in your child, it would not be because a person in your family identifies as one.

  • Build a trusting relationship with your child

 

Build a trustng relationship with your child

As kids grow into teenagers, their bodies go through a lot of changes because of puberty. At this stage, they are developing new hormones and might be going through a sexual phase. They can come to you for guidance if they have a trusting relationship with you. If they are going through a phase, or inclined towards experimentation, a healthy relationship will make them feel safe to tell you about it.

  • Ask them

Here is how you can find out if your child is gay.

Asking your child if he or she is gay, is practically the only way you can be sure. However, dependent on your relationship with the child, they might not be honest. We also live in a conservative society.  Your child would need to trust you with this information.

Your child is the only one who knows what his true sexuality is,assumptions can be very harmful and misleading. This is why you should not use gender stereotypes as the basis of their sexuality. If your child sees you as someone who loves them wholly, they would tell you anything you need to know.

Read also: How To Raise A Feminist Son

Resources: Scientific American

Written by

Lydia Ume