Some Things You Can Relate To If You Have Nigerian Parents
There are parents and there are Nigerian parents. Nigerian parents would win the award for most interesting, most annoying, most dramatic parents on the planet, no kidding.Anyone who's raised by Nigerian parents knows that they don't play. They're educated yet very traditional, they're strict and at the same time extremely hilarious. It's really not hard to identify someone who was raised in Nigeria.
This is the ultimate parenting starter pack in Nigeria. It gets to a time that your parents no longer scold you by talking. They just give you THE LOOK. The look often features a piercing side eye glance. Other times, it's a fierce pointed stare. If you're sharp you'll know what time it is and abort mission immediately. Failure to heed the look and you'll have yourself to blame for a long time to come.
Nigerian parents are annoyingly loud. Hilariously too. When they speak on the phone, it's almost as if they imagine the other person is listening from miles away. So they shout into the phone in such a funny way that leaves you gaping. It's the same thing when they're hailing Chief Benson from church. When they're scolding you, it's still the same screaming. You're not Nigerian if you haven't seen this happen at least most of your lifetime.
Woe betide you to give to or receive anything from your parents with your left hand. woe betide you seriously, but you already know this. We're not sure the origin of this tradition, but it's been around forever. It's supposed to be a mark of disrespect to stretch out your left hand for any reason when you're relating with an elderly person. As you know, you don't want to disrespect an elderly person in Nigeria. They take respect way too seriously here. You won't hear the last of it.
You know those messages that mandate you to forward them to 21 people just so you can have a miracle in 21 hours? Those ones, yep. Or those ones where the sender asks you to send back to them, if you care. Our parents have a special degree in forwarding those messages. You're in hot pepper soup if you also don't forward accordingly as well. With any luck you'll receive about 30 of those messages a week. Just to let you know that your folks mean business.
Dear person-who-was-raised-by-Nigerian-parents, you already know don't you, that you have the most dramatic parents in the world. Only a parent in Naija will sit beside the remote control and ask you to leave your room upstairs to help them change the TV channel. Only a Naija parent will scream bloody murder if you dare to duck when they're trying to slap you. They'll say you want to beat them. Only a parent born in Nigeria stalk their kids on social media and make the most outrageous comments, from dressing to scriptures.
But we love them all the same, and we wouldn't trade them for any others in the world.
Tell us a bit about your Nigerian parents and their hilarious ways in the comments.