This School Teaches Women How To Be Good Wives
School for wives have graduated many women whose marriages were on the brink of collapse or have collapsed completely. And they only have praises for the impact school of wives have had on their marriage.
Just like there are schools for professional courses, there is a school for wives in Nigeria. At school for wives, women are taught how to understand men and how to stay in their marriage. In a regular school fashion, they have different courses and instructors whose job it is to teach these women.
Adebola Jaiyeojo, the principal of the school for wives, gives an insight into what the school is all about, why the school started in the first place.
“School for wives has been on now for at least five years,” she says. “And we've done 21 editions. The problems we are having particularly in the church, even as Christians, the divorce rate in the church is unbelievable. Crises out there is unbelievable. Oh is it that because you're a Christian you won't have crises? But with the right understanding. In fact, a woman is in that marriage because of crises. And crisis will validate your call as a wife. And so crises is not the reason why you should run. Deal with it. A good soldier does not run from war.”
“It's a school based on understanding because Proverbs 24 verse 3 says you build with wisdom but it takes understanding to establish what you've built. So you find the courses are about understanding: understanding your husband; understanding yourself. And this understanding is in levels.”
“Many people enter marriage for the wrong reasons and we talk about entry point to marriage. And seeing marriage from God's perspective. He is the designer of marriage.”
How have their students fared?
School for wives have graduated many women whose marriages were on the brink of collapse or have collapsed completely. And they only have praises for the impact school of wives have had on their marriage. However, there are early doubters like Omolara Sobiyi, who went on to become an instructor at the school of wives.
“School for wives—I was like what are we learning? What is this about? How come we don't have schools for husbands? Is it only the women who are responsible for making marriage work all the time? Sobiyi questions. But the story would change later when she experienced firsthand what school of wives is all about.
She continues. “If I had not come to the school for wives, I would've been either divorced or miserable in marriage. Or just enduring it. And it would've been because of lack of knowledge, not because my husband is terrible. There's a way to do things. There's a way marriage should work. And that was what I got to know at school for wives. It has really impacted my marriage; I am happily married. Do I have my period of pain? Yes. Even after the school. But when the issues come up now I know what to do. Divorce is not an option because those issues can be resolved.”
Other women chip in with their stories of gaining understanding, saving their struggling marriages. Motunrayo Bamiro came to realize that she's not doing enough to understand her husband.
“At a point, I must confess I was very selfish, Motunrayo says. “I was thinking about my emotions—that he is not fulfilling my needs. I was only thinking of myself. But now I've come to realise that I have to try and understand him.”
Should you enrol in school for wives?
Omolara Sobiyi certainly thinks you should. “School for Wives is a place where you come for eye-opening experience,” she said. “Unless you attend you cannot understand everything. We have subjects and topic where we are taught understanding your husband, understanding your person, understanding the place of sex in marriage. Another thing that interested me the most is understanding boundaries in marriage. I didn't know that.”
“We've had women who had been discouraged about marriage completely. By the time they finished, they knew what their shortcomings were, they knew what they had to put in place. They knew how they had to set the boundaries. Also, they understood themselves. They understood the place of sex and what it really is and how important it is in marriage.”