Self-assessment in relationships: would you date yourself?
Everyone has a list of qualities they want in a partner. It is easy to want a man or woman who is kind, loving, God-fearing, rich, handsome, beautiful, generous, etc. The question is: do you have the qualities that you want to see in others? Self-assessment in relationships is important, and you may need to be honest about what you are bringing to the table.
Tell yourself the truth: would you willingly stay with someone who behaved, dressed and thought like you? Self-assessment in relationships is being honest to yourself about your true character, including your faults and your strengths. How do you handle conflict and tense situations? Do you create a loving atmosphere that would allow relationships to thrive? Are you the kind of person you want to come home to?
Looking inwards will show you the real you, which can help you become a better version of yourself.
It is one thing to pray for a tall, dark and handsome man to sweep you off your feet, but if you were a dashing prince charming, would you go for someone like you?
Draw up a list of qualities your ideal partner should have and then check whether or not you have these qualities. You want a well-dressed partner, but does your wardrobe match that of the person in your fantasy? Do you want a cool, calm and collected person when you are prone to flying into a rage whenever someone hurts you? Do you talk things through until you find a common ground?
If you want a generous person, ask yourself the last time you gave someone a gift.
Now that you have bravely identified your worst traits, the next step is working hard to correct them. The goal of self-assessment in relationshipsis to take a closer look at yourself as a person and work to become better.
Now, bring out that list you made about what you desire in a partner and mark the qualities you already have as a person. There will be areas where you are wanting, and these are the areas you should work to change. Become the person you want to date.
You will be surprised to find out that you attract the kind of person you are!
The most important lesson when it comes to self-assessment in relationshipsis that no one is perfect. This exercise will open your eyes to this fact. This should teach you not to expect perfection from partners but rather look for a people who tick most of your boxes.
Own the fact that you have shortcomings and work to change the things you can. You are more likely to attract someone when you acknowledge your imperfections while putting in the effort to become a better person.
Don’t give up on yourself. Embrace change and work on yourself until you meet your own personal dating standards!