How Do You Tell Your Partner That They Need To Up Their Sex Game?
Who doesn't want better sex?
Want better sex? We’ve always educated on why you should be talking about it with your partner and why you want to be sure they are on the same page as you when it comes to getting it.
But when you are already with someone who hasn’t gotten the hang of pleasing you sexually, and when it has particularly been going on for a bit, how do you broach the topic in the best manner possible?
1. Choose the right place and time
That means don’t do it in the bedroom, on the bed, in the middle of sex. Nah, don’t do that.
When something [or a lot of things] doesn't feel right about the sex you have with someone, the best time to talk about is when you are not having sex. Matter of fact, it is advisable to not do it in the bedroom, so the memories of being told about your sexual inadequacies don’t get attached to that bedroom.
If your man or woman needs to up their sex game, find a better time and place than when you are trying to make babies in your bed.
2. Give them time to get it right
It’s not going to happen overnight. It could. But chances are that it won’t. So allow your partner to get in line at their own [reasonable] pace. Someone who is used to one position and two rounds max, for example, won’t suddenly pick up snake-in-the-eagle’s shadow style and hammer away for 10 hours.
These things take time.
3. Be clear on what they’re not getting right
According to “A lot of women want their man to read their mind and a lot of men want their women to be specific when it comes to what it is that they are trying to say.
“That's why, it's also a good idea that, before you embark on having this kind of conversation, that you spend some time alone so that you can figure out exactly what it is that you are so displeased with. He can't read your mind. He also can't change what you don't clearly (and lovingly) articulate.”
Also, give it time. [Credit: Shutterstock]
4. No comparisons
When trying to get your partner to do something or do something better, be sure you are not pitting them against someone else or making comparisons, especially with an ex.
“My ex used to…“ is definitely not something you want to bring up while having a conversation like this with your partner.
5. That spec on your eye
Some self-examination is required, too. Look at yourself in the mirror and gauge your performances. Sometimes, being enthusiastic and putting in effort to please your partner is all you need to get them reciprocating with equal gusto.
If your efforts at pleasing your partner are below par, maybe fix yourself first before complaining about them.